Halo Reach: death by loadouts

I've been playing a bit of the Halo Reach beta and I love everything except the armor abilities. What a damn disaster. They unbalance the hell out of the game and you will never know frustration like jumping into a game of team slayer where the other team all has active camo and uses it constantly. I'm very worried about the final version of Reach and I can only hope that there will be a couple choosable gametypes without any armor abilities.

On the plus side, my overall K/D for the beta is 68/21.

Single Player Review - Splinter Cell: Conviction

I just completed the single player campaign of Splinter Cell: Conviction and I was blown away. The narrative and pacing are absolutely top-notch, raising the bar just barely out of the reach of popular favorites like Bioshock and Uncharted 2. I was sucked through the campaign from start to finish and I found the conclusion to be far better than I had expected.

The game is lean and efficient in nearly every way. There aren't any extraneous characters or threads in the plot, it is simple, compelling, gripping and unlike some previous Splinter Cells, clear. In fact, it felt like it might have been written by Luc Besson and compares to fast paced films like Taken and From Paris With Love. This has led to a shorter single player campaign and many gamers and journalists have, in fact, complained about not getting enough for a full priced game. The jury's still out at my house, but I spent about six hours on the campaign without once being bored or wading through a filler section, and I haven't even touched the co-op, denied ops or competitive multiplayer modes yet.

Conviction plays like the awesome cutscenes I always see in action games but never get to control. While other, (cough, Modern Warfare), games try to make you feel like a professional badass motherfucker by tossing in grand set pieces and scripted events, SC:C actually gives you the reigns. So when you see six guys in a room below you and you mark the first three of them, mark a fuel tank between the fourth and fifth, then pounce on the sixth and use your mark and execute skill to clear the whole room in two seconds, you feel completely responsible, empowered and badass. I can't count how many times I looked at the surgically precise devastation around me after a protracted strategic firefight and exclaimed "shit yeah, I did that," often accompanied by bemused looks from my wife.

Splinter Cell: Conviction is a dramatic change for the series, but it is one I welcome. Opinions on the other game modes will be up once I've had time to properly explore them.

Tip: Make sure to wait through the credits after completing the game for a hilarious conversation between Coste and Fisher.

Crackdown 2: Yet Another Reason Why I'll Be Spending Too Much Money This Year

Just look at the insanity in that screenshot. I'd be lying if I claimed to have even the slightest idea what's happening but... I like it. Also if you look real hard you can spy an agility orb. Toss in expanded co-op and competitive multiplayer modes and Crackdown 2 looks to be a sure-win unless Ruffian somehow manages to completely bust the mechanics.

All this talk about 3D

I've read and heard lots of discussion about the pros and cons of 3D in gaming, but one point that I believe will be one of the most important is also one that I haven't heard elsewhere. What will the effect of adding 3D to videogames do to development costs? Costs have already been climbing so fast and high that developers are going to have to hire company Sherpas. We are already seeing games like Mirror's Edge which sold something like 1.5 million copies and still weren't considered a financial success.

If developing for 3D adds to that I worry that we're going to wind up seeing a more extreme form of the current segregation between high profile games that have ultra-high budgets and tons of marketing that sell millions of copies. . . and everyone else.

An Hour Into Uncharted 2

Earlier today I was standing in EB Games with Uncharted 2 for $55 in one hand and Skate and Prince of Persia $40 in the other. I was leaning towards Skate and Prince of Persia but in the end, based on the rave reviews and the plethora of game of the year awards it has recieved I walked out with Uncharted 2. I haven't yet decided whether that was a good choice.

I'm only an hour in so far, mucking around in the museum in Istanbul, so there's a lot of game ahead for me to play. Still, I can't help but feel underwhelmed. Of course, the graphics are top notch and the animations are some of the best and natural ever in a videogame, but those animations seem to have come at a cost. Controlling the character feels like he is moving around knee deep in mud; what Nathan Drake does on screen certainly looks convincing but I often feel that it doesn't reflect what I am trying to make him do. Also the cinematic nature of the game often comes from dramatic camera angles that made me feel like I was watching a movie but sadly has sent Drake to his death at least a dozen times. When the game cuts to a dramatic camera angle I just can't figure out which direction the game wants me to point the analog stick and jumping from one ledge to another becomes a game of guess and check. I can't help but feel like if all the graphics and admittedly superb voice acting were stripped away, the game mechanics would be almost identical to the clunky and stiff but passable mechanics of Lego Indiana Jones.

As I mentioned before, the graphics are some of the best I've ever seen, but there are little inconsistencies that drive me bananas. Maybe I'm just a pessimist or way too anal about little details but in a game that gets so many other things right, the small but repetitive problems are often the worst. The flashlight attached to Drake's hip always points forward, yet is able to shine light wherever the camera is directed, even if it is behind him. Guards immediately sound the alarm if they see Drake or his accomplice, but they couldn't care less if they stumble across another guard lying unconscious on the ground. These are all strange omissions from a developer that went out of their way to make Drake look sopping wet when he gets out of water which, by the way, is an awesome effect that they absolutely nailed.

Maybe these issues will all fade into the background as I continue playing and I haven't even looked at the coop or multiplayer yet, but the first hour of a game just shouldn't be as underwhelming and sometimes even frustrating as this. I'll post more impressions once I'm further into or done with the game.

Spec Ops: The Line - My Underdog of 2010

The Spec Ops series isn't one known for quality. Released at budget prices for the Playstation 2 in the late 90s and early 2000s, the Spec Ops games were moderately enjoyable but the gameplay was stiff and unoriginal. Hopefully gamers forget about all that when Spec Ops: The Line arrives on store shelves in late 2010 because based on the short trailer that was aired at the Spike VGAs and the little other information I've heard about it, it could be a classic in the making.

Spec Ops: The Line is set in Dubai after a series of devastating sandstorms and the scenery is barren and intense. The plot has you playing as a soldier sent in after a crazed army colonel named John Konrad. That's right, like Apocalypse Now, this is a re-imagining of Joseph Conrad's 'The Heart of Darkness,' but with Dubai taking the place of Apocalypse's Vietnam and Darkness' Africa. The gameplay looks like like a third person shooter with a Gears of War/Rainbow Six Vegas style cover system.

Debut Trailer


Extended Trailer

Left 4 Dead 2? Seriously?

During the Microsoft E3 press conference, Left 4 Dead 2 was announced. Let me get things straight here, I'm a big fan of Left 4 Dead, in fact I paid cash-money for both the PC and 360 versions, and I've been eagerly anticipating more L4D. Nevertheless, I'm more than a bit pissed that Left 4 Dead 2 is coming out this soon.

When Left 4 Dead was released, it wasn't a complete product. Of the four campaigns included in the game, only two were usable in the versus gameplay mode, the meat and potatoes of a long-lasting Left 4 Dead experience. Since then Valve has remedied that situation with a free content pack, and kudos to them for not taking the low road and charging for what should have been in the game in the first place. The official excuse from Valve as to why the maps were left out at launch was that the versus levels take too long to set up and test. Nevertheless, we are being given a new and hopefully complete game in less than a year? I'm going to have to call shenanigans. Merely seven months ago I was charged a full $60 for an incomplete game, I'm not falling for it again.

P.S. - If you happen to feel the same way, you might want to join this Steam Group: L4D2 Boycott.

285 Years Later, Assassins Have Finally Learned to Swim

A month or so ago, Game Informer revealed details on Assassin's Creed 2. Set in Italy in 1476, (285 years post-Assassin's Creed), players will play as Ezio de Firenze, a nobleman/assassin who carries dual hidden blades and a flamboyantly over-the-top outfit that would startle a blind guard. Fortunately for Ezio, by the end of the 15th century assassins have mastered the art of swimming. As Assassin's Creed takes place in Florence, Rome and Venice, Ezio has plenty of opportunity to utilize this new skill in the network of Venetian canals. THANK GOD. It always pissed me off that water was to Altaïr what lava is to Mario. Master assassin my ass.

Check out some Assassin's Creed 2 art at MondoXbox.

No Escapism Here

I was playing Fable II last night in the bedroom with my wife snoring lightly next to me. My wife's name is Talitha, by the way, which is not a very common name, (it may seem strange for me to reveal her name but that information will be important in a few sentences). On my way back to Bowerstone after completing a quest, I was passing the gypsy town where I grew up and decided to stop in for old-time's sake. At the time I hadn't yet indulged in courting any of the wide variety of women Albion has to offer, so on a whim I locked on to the nearest gypsy of the fairer sex and hit her with an irresistably seductive pose. She responded favorably, yet I was dumbfounded. I had just macked on Talitha the Gypsy.

Destiny, coincidence or practical joke? I don't know, but there's only enough room for one Talitha in my life so I put the controller down, gave my wife a hug and fell asleep.

Dead Space

It's 1:30am and I'm wandering the corridors of a derelict mining ship. The only sounds are my own ragged breath, muffled by my helmet and an occasional metallic clank as the ship falls apart. I am Isaac Clarke, an engineer sent to repair the Ishimura, a huge 'planet cracker' class starship, but I have bigger problems now. Most of the crew of the Ishimura is dead, missing or worse. It seems some sort of infection has turned many of them into monstrous creatures who want nothing more than to paint the ship red with my blood. To make matters worse the shuttle I arrived on has been destroyed, most of my own crew are dead and my girlfriend is somewhere on this ship, hopefully alive.

I've finally found time to play Dead Space and I'm midway through the fourth chapter. As I played through the first chapter I had doubts as to whether or not I'd be able to get into it, but the further I progress, the more I'm drawn in. Between the audio, video and text logs and my communication with the remainder of my ship's crew, I feel drawn in not only to finding out what happened on the ship and escaping with my life, but also interested in the several subplots that revolve around my own crew and the crew of the Ishimura.

If I wanted to say there is a gimmick to the game I guess it would be be that each enemy has specific points that must be targeted, but it doesn't feel like a gimmick. In fact, I find it to be an inspired decision on the part of the designers. Not only does it make you adapt your strategy based on what sort of enemy you are faced with, but each time you encounter a new sort of enemy it becomes a miniature boss battle where you must find the weakness and exploit it.

I also find myself enjoying the adventure/RPG aspects of the game. Between being a completionist and the habits I've cultivated having played many adventure and survival horror games I explore every nook and cranny of the environment and I am generally rewarded for my efforts not only with the usual health and ammo packs but schematics for new weapons and armor and nodes. In Dead Space 'nodes' are what allow you to upgrade your weapons with greater damage, ammo capacity, rate of fire, etc. or armor with more health or oxygen capacity. The weapons you use and how you use them can be customized to fit you style of play. I have opted so far to put all my nodes into my armor and the starter weapon: the plasma cutter because I like to play defensively, often luring one enemy down a hallway at a time and wearing them down as they follow me.

The only thing that has bothered me about the game so far is the ridiculously contrived situation that my character is in where he has to go from one point to another on the ship fixing every damn system imaginable. I know that this is a common theme in sci-fi suspense movies and games, but if there is a single working system on the entire ship the Ishimura, I am not aware of it. The game so far has been one of 'go here and fix this immediately life-threatening problem... oh now that you've fixed that one, this other new urgent and possibly fatal problem has cropped up so fix that one too.' I can let it go but it would be nice to throw some variation in.

As I said, I am only on the fourth chapter, which is only about one-third of the way through the game, so I certainly cannot comment on the total package. I am confident, however, in saying that any fan of survival/horror or sci-fi/horror/suspense films, (Alien, Sunshine, Event Horizon, The Black Hole, etc.), will want to give Dead Space a shot. Beyond that, I'll have to hold off until I've finished the game before giving my final opinions.

about 1Up.

Upon hearing that 1Up was purchased by the Hearst Corporation last night I felt much as if a good friend had died, or to be more specific, I felt like I'd been sucker-punched in the gut with a sledgehammer. After several years with 1Up always always being there for me when I called on it to entertain or inform me, finding out that not only had the website and magazine been purchased, but that the majority of the writers who made it all what it is had been laid off was a hell of a shock. Of course how I felt must be nothing compared to how the forty or so talented employees, (many of them writers I look up to) felt upon learning that they had lost their jobs.

Frankly, what a fucking disaster. As Jeff Green, (formerly of GFW and 1Up), said on his blog, 1Up will not be the same anymore. 1Up was made what it is by the people who worked there and they are gone so 1Up as I lovingly knew it is dead. What 1Up becomes may well be worthwhile but it won't be the same. I don't care if anyone tries to tell me it's "still the same 1Up," it just isn't. In fact, where 1Up is now reminds me of the son in the movie Changeling.

So here's a toast to 1Up and all the folks who made it what it was. This comes from the heart:
Thank you all for being writers I can look up to and for people who understood the value of your community and for being champions of the value and relevance of video games. Thank you for entertaining, informing and interacting with all of your fans and readers. Thank you for not bending to the will of the lowest common denominator straight to the very end. Thank you all and the best of luck in all your endeavors.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Former 1Up employees who are now without a job

The PC in '09

Is PC gaming dead? No. Is PC gaming dying? I don't know, but the lineup of quality PC titles set for 2009 makes for a good argument that PC gaming is still alive and will continue to thrive. Here are just a few of the biggest PC titles of '09. (note: Diablo 3 and Dragon Age: Origin are rumored to be recieving console ports)

PC Exclusives
-StarCraft 2
-Dawn of War II
-Diablo 3
-Battlefield Heroes
-Dragon Age: Origin
-Star Wars: The Old Republic
-The Sims 3
-Empire: Total War
-Demigod


Multiplatform games coming to PC
-Bionic Commando
-Wolfenstein
-Ghostbusters
-Rage
-Prototype
-Alpha Protocol
-Alan Wake

It's going to be a good year for PC Gaming.

A Rare missed opportunity

The NXE, (New Xbox Experience), has been out for a month but it already feels old and worn in, (in a good way). As difficult as it is to gauge the success of what amounts to mandatory interface update, there appear to be more positive that negative reactions. I personally prefer the NXE, it runs faster on my Xbox 360 and despite the fact that he looks a bit generic I like my little avatar. It's just too bad that the avatars represent an opportunity that Rare and Microsoft did not take advantage of: integration of avatars into their new games.

Rare was working on Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts and Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise concurrently with the avatars for the NXE, so I can't help but wonder why they wouldn't have integrated the avatars. From a marketing perspective it couldn't have hurt to advertise that Banjo Kazooie and Viva Pinata 2 support avatars. Sales of Uno and A Kingdom for Keflings were higher than expected and a portion of those sales can be attributed to folks who wanted to see their avatars in-game. Having the avatars supported in these games would also have helped promote the NXE and the Xbox 360; Microsoft needed to show gamers why avatars matter and including them in two big-name games right out of the gate would have helped.

From a consumer's perspective, (mine specifically), it would be a blast to be able to tend my garden in Viva Pinata 2 as my avatar. Since Rare designed the avatars, they are an aesthetic match to Viva Pinata and wouldn't look out of place wandering around in-game. To take it a step further, the folks on the Xbox Live friends list could inhabit the game as shopkeepers or garden workers. In Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts it would obviously not work to be able to play as your avatar through the single player story, but they could still be worked into the game as inspirational statues in the town or as a citizen and in multiplayer there is no reason why players couldn't exist as their avatar.

Microsoft forced me to choose or create an avatar when I booted up the NXE, and now I hope they do something interesting with it. It's just a shame they didn't use Rare's games to that end.

Sonic Chronicles, Bionic Commando Rearmed and the Nintendo DSi

I finally beat Bionic Commando: Rearmed today and cannot stress enough; it is a fantastic game. Don't let the lack of a jump button deter you, once you get used to the swinging mechanics you will find that the control scheme allows for far more control than you might expect as well as some interesting and creative platforming puzzles and secret areas galore. I won't say it isn't tough, I only played on normal difficulty and came damn near breaking my controller on multiple occasions, but that difficulty only makes it so much more satisfying when you overcome it.

I've also started playing Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood. I'm only about forty-five minutes into the game so I can hardly comment on the game as a whole but at least I am enjoying the attitude and writing. Imagine a really well written children's cartoon. It's good, but you still won't get any adult themes or situations, (and that doesn't automatically mean sex you perv). Once again that is based on only the first forty-five minutes so... things could take a turn for the worse. Or not. My only negative comment is that I would like to tie up Amy the hedgehog in a burlap sack and drown her. That isn't to say that my dislike for her is a good reason to not include her in a game, but damn. Okay, maybe I have one other negative comment; I think the game would have benefited from not using any touch controls whatsoever. I know about a billion people are going to disagree with me and possibly hate me for saying this but I hate having to drag my character around the screen by the tits à la Phantom Hourglass. Just because the touch screen is there doesn't mean it must be used. If I find out there are any mini-games that involve blowing on the microphone I swear I'm going to murder someone.

On the news front, Nintendo announced the newest version of their little handheld that can: the Nintendo DSi. Apparently the screens are slightly bigger, but from the reports I've read the resolution is the same. Also a .3 megapixel camera will be built in and possibly the best news is that a flash SD slot will be added so that DSware, (like Wiiware), games may be downloaded directly to the system. That stuff is all well and good but honestly I don't care about any of it. I'll buy it if the console will actually support the WPA wireless encryption standard this time around. As it stands I can't utilize the Wi-Fi abilities of my Nintendo DS because my wireless network is WPA encrypted, (and hopefully so is anyone's network who has any common sense). I don't really think it's something Nintendo cares about, but let's just hope it was considered this time, (even if it means less battery time).

Of course there's at least one major problem as I see it, the GBA slot has been altogether removed from the system. I'm not sure how many people truly still play GBA games, plus the nature of the industry is to move forward and after four years of obsolescence it may be time to stop supporting the old format. However, the major problem with not including a GBA slot is that peripherals which require the GBA port will now become useless. The Guitar Hero World Tour fretboard peripheral will be unusable as will the memory cartridge for the DS version of the Opera web browser. I don't know if these products have been taken into account but this would seem to me to be a major issue. Maybe Nintendo just frankly doesn't give a shit. Sometimes I get the impression that caveat emptor is the mantra around the offices of the big N. Of course what they really want is simply for the millions of DS owners in the world to have to shell out more cash for the third iteration of the same handheld. Innovation my ass. (I should have bought a PSP, it would have been more expensive but I wouldn't have had to buy three of them).

On one last, entirely different note, I encountered a fantastic freeware game last week. It's been out for around a year so I'm a bit late to the party, but I would like to share it nonetheless. It's called "Death Worm," and it is frigging amazing. Have you ever thought "damn I wish I were one of the huge-ass sandworms from Dune?" Neither had I until I played this game. Few things are as fun as launching into the sky like some sort of freakish sand-dolphin, taking out a plane in midair, and devouring several camels and maybe a bewildered desert-dweller or two on the landing. Yeah, it's awesome. Check it out here.

is it worth 400 clams?

I'm actually beginning to entertain the idea of purchasing a Playstation 3 for myself. Previously I've never found any games or features compelling enough for me to shell out $400, (probably more... backwards compatibility is a deal breaker for me), but now there's a game that may seal the deal.

It isn't Little Big Planet, though if I were to have a PS3 already in my possession I would undoubtedly jump on it. It isn't Metal Gear Solid 4 either, (boy did the hype for that game fall off fast), nor is it Resistance 2 or Killzone 2. To tell the truth, I don't even care about BluRay and by the time I do care to watch all my movies in high definition, either BluRay players will be cheap anyway or there will be other solutions available.

The reason for my interest in Playstation 3 is my long-time love for Omikron: The Nomad Soul and Fahrenheit, (a.k.a. Indigo Prophecy). If that statement alone isn't enough to clue you in to what game I am anticipating, this should help a bit:

I guess the only other reason why I might go out and drop 400 clams on a big, black shiny paperweight is if I Warren Spector himself announced his plans to personally develop and bring Deus Ex 3 to PS3 exclusively.

A visual sucker-punch, courtesy of Dead Space

When I first played Resident Evil, (the original) I understood why it was termed a "survival/horror" game. I stayed up late many nights with my room illuminated only by the flickering glow of the TV playing that game. I remember not playing with a specific goal in mind so much as desperately trying to keep my intrepid characters Chris Redfield and Jill 'master of lockpicking' Valentine from suffering one form of horrific death or another. I also remember being generally scared shitless.

Since Resident Evil, I've played a lot of good, (and bad), survival horror games, but none that motivated me to move forward in the game and play to the best of my ability simply because I was scared to death of dying. Earlier today I watched a video of a boss battle from the upcoming "Dead Space" and it looks as though I might have just that sort of experience to look forward to again. In watching the boss dispatch the intrepid space engineer, I've found that maybe I'm not quite as inured to violence as I had thought and that empathy, even for a fictional video game character, can be a hell of a motivation.

Check out the video at GameCinemaHD
CAUTION: this video contains a minor boss battle and some people may consider it as a spoiler, though it doesn't contain any plot points. Also it is extremely violent.

On a completely different note; an article about how EA's DRM methods are further motivating game pirates. It's an worthwhile read.

One Small Step for Open-Mindedness

Like Rock 'n' Roll and Comic books before, video games are largely misunderstood by people who are unfamiliar with them and often criticized unfairly as a result. Of course, if you're on this website, I probably didn't need to tell you that, did I? It's a common subject of discussion for gamers. I only bring it up because the following instance is a perfect example of video games being unfairly judged, but in this case logic and rationality prevail.

Earlier tonight I was experiencing some Bionic Commando related frustration as I tried to make my way through the sixth stage. At one point, after countless drowning-related incidents I dropped my controller and said, (rather loudly), "you've got to be f**king kidding me!" (Outbursts of this sort aren't entirely uncommon for me and generally don't mean I'm not enjoying myself or ready to stop playing). My wife, who was in the room with me, then said something that I have heard many times from my mother while growing up; "If that video game is getting you so worked up that you're cursing, you need to put it down." Then she mentioned how she hates how video games get make me and her brother, (my brother in law), curse so much.

Maybe it's just me, but if I am already frustrated... not angry or pissed off mind you, just frustrated, the one thing that might push me over the edge is the feeling that I'm being patronized. Still, I kept my cool. Rather than yelling or getting upset, I simply pointed out how people act when watching a sports game on TV, or how she gets way too into watching Big Brother and I frequently hear her cursing when one of her favorite contestants makes a stupid decision. I reminded her how often both her and I and both our families spew streams of vitriolic profanity at other cars while driving.

Then I explained that I like it when games frustrate me, it means that I'm being challenged. As long as I'm not breaking things, cursing from time to time is sometimes a good sign. Games aren't fun when they're too easy and for me personally I enjoy them the most when I am being tested to my limit. If a section of a game is causing me a lot of frustration, then it just means it'll be that much more satisfying when I overcome it Of course there are times when a game truly can get so aggravating that the controller just needs to be put down, but that isn't specific to video games, just about everything in life is like that.

Lucky for me my wife is actually pretty open minded; she gets it. I just wish it was always that easy.

A Couple Things the Force Unleashed demo needs

1. Limb dismemberment. Even Jedi Knight 2 had it, (and was still rated Teen, no less!), so there's no reason why this shouldn't have some good old fashioned severable limbs... and heads and torsos. Seriously, Star Wars has a rich history of dismemberment, (Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Darth Maul, Jango Fett). Even if the developer or publisher doesn't want to include blood, a lightsaber shouldn't leave people whole.

2. Bodies and Objects that don't disappear within 3 seconds. When I lay waste to an army of stormtroopers, I just don't feel like the badass that I should unless I can wade through the corpses and bits of destroyed tie fighters once I'm the last man standing. Of course there are technical limitations, but having a freshly fallen enemy fade away instantly is jarring when paired with the physical realism that Lucasarts is trying to accomplish with their game engine.

3. Boss battles that don't involve quick time events. I shouldn't have to explain this one. Whatever. Having the climax of the demo take away direct control of the character is a weak decision. Who knew that the weakness of an AT-ST is pressing X, Y, B, Y, A, A in that order. I felt more like I was playing a hacking mini-game than unleashing my unholy Sith fury on a mechanized engine of destruction.

QTE's worked in Shenmue, (at least I thought so), because they were worked into the overal cinematic nature of the game design. Essentially every game since that has used them in a manner that is totally incongruous to the game design and if there is something that really pisses me off it's shoehorning an element into a game when it doesn't belong.

There is precedent for Star Wars games with severable limbs.

Review gripes: the 1Up Too Human review

Too Human is one of the big releases of the year, and that isn't something that is likely to change even if the game isn't great. After playing through the demo twice my impression is that the gameplay mechanic, while very different from other traditional action games, is fun and rewarding once a couple hours have been spent getting the hang of it and breaking yourself of the instinct to press A or B to attack. I also looked forward to getting into the story, which was headed in an interesting direction by the end of the demo.

The moment I saw the review for Too Human on the 1Up main page, I was naturally pumped to read it but I was somewhat miffed at the choice of reviewer. Who is this guy and why does he write with the stiffness of a high-school English student? Apparently he used to write for OPM, so at the very least there are some credentials there, but why give him such a big game that is has loomed so large in gamer culture for so many years as his first review now that he is back? On the one hand it wouldn't seem fair to give the new writer a deluge of crap games to review, especially if the reviewer has proven themself elsewhere. On the other hand one of the major benefits of reading reviews on a website like 1Up is that for readers like myself, we can get a sense of each editor's tastes based on their previous reviews and factor that in when we read their articles. Not giving readers that opportunity on a game as important as Too Human seems almost irresponsible.

Of course, to write off a writer simply because I haven't heard of him before would speak only of my own inflated sense of importance, but the review left a lot to be desired as well. I can't really say that I got anything out of it other than a few major gripes the reviewer had. The review was far, far too brief and most of the concerns, (issues with air-juggling, camera angles, target-locking), were facets of the game that I had absolutely no problem with in the demo, leading me to ask; is the full game completely different than the demo? Do these problems only crop up in later levels? Can I even trust any of this review?

I guess now I'll just have to sit and wait for other websites to get their reviews up and see what the general consensus on the internet is. Of course I like to read many reviews before purchasing a game so this isn't a major break from my usual routine... I guess I'm just used to getting more out of 1Up than I got in this time around.

Reflections on the big-three press conferences

Hopefully by now you've read about all the big E3 press conferences either here or elsewhere. Perhaps for a lucky few of you, you actually got to be there. Well here's my personal take on the press conferences for each of the big three console manufacturers.

Microsoft: In my opinion, Microsoft's press conference was easily the best of the show. Microsoft basically spent an hour and a half slamming home one AAA title after another. By the end of the conference they had made clear that Microsoft is dedicated to A. bringing over the best titles that have been historically exclusive to other consoles, (Resident Evil 5, Grand Theft Auto 4, Final Fantasy XIII, etc), B. bringing exclusive content to 360 for multiplatform games, (360-exclusive DLC for GTA 4 and Fallout 3), and C. continuing to deliver first and third party exclusives for the 360, (Gears of War 2, Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, Infinite Undiscovery, Fable II, and a bevy of XBLA titles). Granted, Microsoft is able to accomplish all this by basically dropping huge sacks of money on developers, (which Nintendo and Sony can't afford to do), but that doesn't really matter to someone trying to decide which console to purchase. They just want the best console with the most content and don't care how the content got there. Of course, in the middle of all this talk of games was the announcement of a TOTAL overhaul of the Xbox 360 dashboard, (not really sure why they decided to overhaul it, I kinda like the simple and extremely efficient blade-style interface currently in use). I can't have been the only person sitting there thinking, "they are doing ALL THIS by fall?!? Sony couldn't even get their act together to deliver just XMB in a timely manner." Finishing the conference with the announcement of FFXIII 360 didn't hurt either.

Unfortunately I can't completely let Microsoft off the hook. The Avatars seem completely unnecessary and are obvious rip-offs of some other company's avatar system. When talking to games journalists and the sort of hardcore gamers that follow E3, childish and unnecessary rip-offs are not something that will go over well. Also, watching Microsoft employees demonstrate You're in the Movies was just painful. That's the sort of cringeworthy nonsense you would expect from the Nintendo press conference. The idea is cool and packaging the game with the camera all for the standard price of one game is fantastic, but again, the core and hardcore audience that comprises the majority of 360 owners is just not going to care about this game except maybe as a cheap way to get a live vision camera.

Sony: There were two points to the Sony press conference worth taking note of. The first was the repeated message: "hey, we did all this great stuff before with the Playstation 1 and 2, so just buy a Playstation 3 and trust us that we'll do something cool sometime in the future." The second was the focus on the PSP as a companion to the Playstation 3. Surprisingly, there was actually almost as much time spent discussing the PSP as the PS3, with one major announcement being that movies and shows downloaded to the Playstation 3 could be transferred to the PSP for portable viewing.

Unfortunately the rest of the Sony conference was all discussions regarding sales figures, talking up games that we've already been waiting for for months or years and a new video downloading service that looked strikingly like the service for Xbox 360 that has been around for years already. In fact, the only three remotely interesting announcements were a Resistance game for PSP, (yawn), God of War 3 and MAG. God of War and MAG might have been enough to pull the Press Conference out of the gutter if it weren't for the fact that neither game had more to show more than pre-rendered, non-gameplay teasers which most gamers are just too cynical to care about anymore. Speaking of MAG, the one place where the PS3 may be able to build it's own niche is extremely large-scale battlefield games. Warhawk built itself slowly into a hit and Resistance 2 with 64-player online games and MAG with 256-player online games look to make the PS3 the only place to experience that sort of massive-scale multiplayer battles, (aside from PC).

Nintendo: I was extremely disappointed by Nintendo's press conference. At it's launch, the Wii had a nice low price-point and Nintendo postured as the choice for families and folks who don't bathe nightly in cash. They even brought some real games to the party for the Core audience like Metroid Prime 3, Mario Galaxies and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Unfortunately since then the Nintendo Strategy seems to have become to release party games and mini-game collections while nickel and diming consumers to death. The Nintendo press conference only made this fact more apparent, not a single game shown is designed to play at its best with just the Wii remote. You can play Shaun White Snowboarding with a Wii Remote but for the proper experience you need a balance board. You can play some of the games in Wii Sports resort and some of the instruments with a Wii Remote but for the full experience you need nunchuks, Wii Motion Pluses and balance boards. To play Animal Crossing you need a Wii-Speak microphone. If you want to have friends over to play these games as advertised, you need anywhere from two to four of each peripheral. I may have payed more for my Xbox 360 or PS3, but every single game that I own for those systems plays best on the controller that came in the box with the system. Nintendo is the company that apparently wants to put a smile on my face and a severe dent in my bank account.

In terms of presentation Nintendo, as always, managed to be irritating and childish to the point where I genuinely felt nauseous. Having prozac-popping imbeciles with smiles on their face dance around the stage playing children's games and tell us how much they want to put a smile on our face really gets old quickly. I guess having a woman saying the majority of it is a good idea on Nintendo's part though because having the walking PR-tornado Reggie Fils-Aime telling us that he wants to personally put a smile on every child's face just sounds a little creepy.

I'm going to go into another paragraph on Nintendo here, because I have a very specific, major bone to pick with them. They show up at every interview or press conference chucking the term "innovation" at anyone within reach like raving monkeys throwing feces and their E3 2008 press conference was no different. Well, I'm going to yet again have to call BS on Nintendo's claims of continual innovation because there was exactly ONE SINGLE GAME that was mentioned during their press conference that wasn't a sequel, part of a franchise or multiplatform, and that was Wii Music. You know what, I don't care about Wii Music, after Wii Play, Wii Fit and Wii Sports I'm a little bit sick of dancing around like a bloody idiot in front of my television.